What If The New Boyfriend Wants to Have a Child of His Own?

Posted on February 21, 2016 by delaine Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

From the archives of I am Divorced Not Dead: Originally posted in 2009; fresh to divorce!

boyfriend wants baby, divorce choices, tough questionWhile I was married, I gave birth to three kids in three years and I can honestly say their early years are a blur to me; life was CRAZY.  And since divorcing, I’ve sworn I wouldn’t have another child. “My body now belongs to ME,” I’ve joked with my girlfriends.

The other day, however, a girlfriend asked me, “Then why don’t you get fixed if you know you don’t want more?  Especially since you’re so fertile.  You don’t want any ‘accidents.’”

At first, I chalked it down to respecting my body – no more ‘operations,’ thanks very much.  Between pregnancy and birth, I think it’s been through enough.

But then I seriously asked myself:  Would I ever consider having another child?  If I fell in love with a man and it was THAT important to him, might I WANT to carry his child?

Up to this point post-divorce, I’ve focused on the many reasons why I wouldn’t want another child.  For example:

  • I want to focus on my career
  • I need to focus on the three kids I have
  • I don’t want to go back to the sleepless nights and whining and crying
  • I want to own my own body

But as I mentioned in my previous article, my mindset has started to shift somewhat – I’m opening to the idea of another serious relationship.  And with that, come long-lost feelings of sharing and depth and family…all those things that once meant so much to me when I was married.

But am I selfless enough to make the many sacrifices that come with creating and caring for another child?  Or would I stick to Plan A and make the next decade all about me and the kids I already have?

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