What If The New Boyfriend Wants to Have a Child of His Own?
From the archives of I am Divorced Not Dead: Originally posted in 2009; fresh to divorce!
While I was married, I gave birth to three kids in three years and I can honestly say their early years are a blur to me; life was CRAZY. And since divorcing, I’ve sworn I wouldn’t have another child. “My body now belongs to ME,” I’ve joked with my girlfriends.
The other day, however, a girlfriend asked me, “Then why don’t you get fixed if you know you don’t want more? Especially since you’re so fertile. You don’t want any ‘accidents.’”
At first, I chalked it down to respecting my body – no more ‘operations,’ thanks very much. Between pregnancy and birth, I think it’s been through enough.
But then I seriously asked myself: Would I ever consider having another child? If I fell in love with a man and it was THAT important to him, might I WANT to carry his child?
Up to this point post-divorce, I’ve focused on the many reasons why I wouldn’t want another child. For example:
- I want to focus on my career
- I need to focus on the three kids I have
- I don’t want to go back to the sleepless nights and whining and crying
- I want to own my own body
But as I mentioned in my previous article, my mindset has started to shift somewhat – I’m opening to the idea of another serious relationship. And with that, come long-lost feelings of sharing and depth and family…all those things that once meant so much to me when I was married.
But am I selfless enough to make the many sacrifices that come with creating and caring for another child? Or would I stick to Plan A and make the next decade all about me and the kids I already have?
- Three Couples Dealing With Sexless Marriages
- Getting Naked For The First Time After Divorce
- Two Years Post-Divorce: Am I Forsaking Love to “Prove” Something?