Please, Lie Beside Me, Lover, and Read
I can’t say that any man I’ve loved or cared for thus far, including my ex-husband, was a book lover like me. They might’ve scoured the newspaper or a sports or fishing magazine. But when it came down to reading an actual book – fiction or a non-fiction – it was discarded as ‘uninteresting’ or ‘unmanly.’
It’s not that I didn’t try – I not only recommended books, sometimes I almost begged and pleaded. But I’d hear:
“Ugghh, but it’s so big.”
Or: “Can’t you just sum it up for me real quick?”
Or: “Is there any sex? Naked photos? Does anyone die?”
So I’d resort to conspicuously placing it on their nightstands. Unmissable. A flashing reminder: READ ME!
Yet there they always stayed. Intact. Unopened. Collecting dust.
So I capitulated and accepted. “Many people, women included, don’t like to read,” I reminded myself. “It’s a personal choice, Delaine.”
But you know what?
It always kinda stung.
And now…at this moment, as I think about the kinds of qualities I want in my next partner, that sentimental long-ago vision returns. It’s not that I’m hoping for or expecting an English professor – I’ve just learned quite enough about hockey, dirt bikes, hunting and fishing.
I want the connection, the communication, the stimulation of a similar-spirited partner – on all levels. I want attentive ears, thoughtful responses, maybe even a good debate. I want to look over and see him entrenched, combing through the pages, as he ventures to the same place I eagerly roamed.
I yearn for a partner who loves to lie in bed and discuss a good book.
“The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom”
Like Fifty Shades of Grey
Originally published in 2010
- Female Desire: Is Sexual Boredom Inevitable?
- It’s Sometimes Hard to Be Present With The Children During Divorce
- Role Reversal: “Baby, This is Sex, Not Love”