She Grew Balls & Confronted His Mistress to Find ANSWERS
But all of a sudden, her brain went crystal clear. Heart was pounding. “Who are you?” Fiona asked. “Why are you calling my husband?”
On the other end, she heard giggling. Finally: “Oh, I’m just a friend…” Click — she was gone.
The following afternoon, Fiona confronted her husband. Obviously taken off guard, he insisted they were “just friends.” As the conversation progressed, his story changed to “Alright, so we were VERY good friends.” By the end, he went so far to admit that “there was one time that we kissed. But we only kissed; we never had sex.”
So what did Fiona do with this information? What any devoted wife and mother of three very young children would want to do: she believed him.
But then she told her best friend what had happened. Her best friend said the words she feared most:
“I think he’s lying, Fiona. He said he only kissed her? That doesn’t makes sense. What man stops at a kiss? Maybe if he was ten years old…but not a fully-grown man who’s full of testosterone and knows how great sex feels. Especially since according to him, they were ‘very good friends.’”
In that moment, as the weight of reality fell on Fiona’s shoulders, she realized that she’d never know the full truth through her husband. Even if she went sleuthing through past phone bills and emails, the whole picture wouldn’t be clear. She knew that only one risky choice was at her disposal: to confront the other woman.
Right away, you might think Fiona’s choice was insane; aren’t you imagining two women screaming and engaged in a cat fight? Considering the humiliation of it all, the potential drama involved, wasn’t Fiona setting herself up for more hurt?
But Fiona had more guts and smarts than I gave her credit for. A scene, an emotional release, or revenge were not her objectives whatsoever. All she wanted/needed was answers. She knew she needed to be calm, inoffensive, even compassionate when she spoke to her. She was even prepared to cry and pull on the other woman’s heart strings if necessary. She also knew that time was of the essence: she had to move NOW while everyone’s emotions were high and her husband and this woman hadn’t had time to collaborate stories. And off she went, pride in her stomach, to the “other woman’s” work place – a bar…
They sat across from each other in the bar. Fiona couldn’t help but notice how attractive and sexy the other woman was… At first, this woman kept reiterating that she and Pam’s husband were just really good friends; that they were important to each other; that they’d supported each other through some tough times.
But Fiona saw something in this woman’s eyes – hurt? guilt? – that caused her press on with questions. Patiently. Compassionately. And eventually, the truth started unraveling from this woman’s tongue: They HAD slept together, though “not often.” But ‘frequency’ didn’t even matter. Fiona now knew her husband was a liar and a cheater.
Fiona and her husband are now two years into their separation. And Fiona, who has weathered their divorce with the heart of a lion, and strength of a warrior, can’t help but grin when she thinks back on the confrontation she masterminded in the bar. “I still can’t believe I did that,” she says. “I have no idea where I found the balls.”
Not only balls, but grace and dignity. People’s true colors shine through during crises, don’t you think?
- First Time Without Kids: “My heart is so heavy”
- The Value of a Sharp, No-Bullsh** Girlfriend & Mentor During Divorce
- When To Have Sex: Which “Side” of You Decides?