Spotting A Cheater: They Don’t Wear Signs
Oh, the clarity of hindsight. It applies to the signs of a cheating spouse, too.
For Mark, the signs came out in the bedroom. “All of sudden, she kept insisting we do this new sexual position,” he said. “I thought maybe she’d been discussing it with her friends or seen it in a magazine or something.
“I tried it, and she didn’t just like it, she LOVED it,” he continued. “It became her new favorite position and she moaned like a wild animal. I realize now that she was probably imagining I was him.”
In Britney’s case, it was her husband’s unusually-slow reaching of orgasm that stood out. “There were a few times we made love where I actually thought, ‘Boy, this is lasting longer than normal.’ It struck me as strange because he’d been away for work for weeks, which normally meant rapid fire, if you know what I mean. Now it makes sense since he was getting his fill with someone else.”
Here are some of the other warning signs of a spouse/partner having an affair:
1) a surge in sex drive; frequency and duration.
2) less kissing and eye-contact while making love; a preference for sexual positions where they aren’t possible.
3) decreased interest in sex.
4) no desire for cuddling, talking, and emotional intimacy after sex.
5) a sudden vanity about her body: meticulous waxing or lasering of her privates; strutting around with a new confidence; wearing sexier clothes/undergarments. Or:
6) a new streak of modesty. He conceals his body, covers himself when naked and dresses in a different room.
None of the aforementioned behaviors are guaranteed markers of a partner cheating. Remember, it’s normal for couples to go through phases and periods of disconnect in the bedroom and outside of it.
But both Mark and Teresa say they wish they’d paid more attention to their intuition at the time — and not been so quick to dismiss it.
“It’s not about being perpetually paranoid,” said Mark. “It’s about trusting your sixth sense. Anyone who thinks that cheaters come in a certain shape and size, or that’s there’s NO WAY his partner would ever cheat, needs to wake up and give his head a shake. Cheaters don’t walk around with a sign over their head.”
- Not-So-Obvious Signs Your Partner Is Cheating
- Casual Sex: 6 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Naked
- When To Have Sex: Which “Side” of You Decides?