Wallet Size: Does It Matter To You When You Date?
I know the topic of this blog post is contentious and uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I’m fielding these questions anyway: Does a man’s financial wealth or lack thereof influence your decision to date him or not? Or do you classify this as gold-digging, and find it shallow, offensive, and demeaning to the concept of true love?
I decided to ask a few divorced girlfriends for their take on this matter. This is the feedback I got:
“Money doesn’t make any difference. Love is most important and truly all that matters. Together, you can build something new.”
“I’m accustomed to a certain lifestyle from being married and I’d like to maintain that…”
“Right now, I’m drowning in the enormity of my responsibilities. So if a man can’t contribute and help us out financially, in a way he just becomes one more person to do laundry and cook for.”
“Deep down, I want to know that a man can take care of me and the children financially. Not that he has to be a millionaire. And it’s not that I won’t contribute too. But I like it when a man can do more than live from paycheck to paycheck.”
Of the opinions I heard, two things were very clear: First, this was a highly personal and sensitive subject. The fear of being labelled ‘superficial’ was great. As one friend put it, “If I say that money IS important, everyone will assume I’m a gold-digger and I’m not. I just don’t want to invite more hardship or complications into my life.”
Second, it was obvious that many personal experiences and factors had molded my friends’ unique opinions: ie, whether they were moms/non-mothers, whether they’d maintained solid careers throughout their marriages or not, whether their hearts had been broken by infidelity, whether money had been an issue while married, etc.
So I’m putting the question out to you. Does the size of a man’s wallet matter to you as you date again or not? Why? My objective is not to start a war but to table an important issue that we all have feelings about, even if we don’t voice them aloud – for whatever reason.
Books Like Fifty Shades: The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom, Mr. M, by Delaine Moore and Stella Lancaster (pen name)
- When To Have Sex: Which “Side” of You Decides?
- Three Couples Dealing With Sexless Marriages
- Telling Your Ex-Husband (or Ex-Wife) You Have A New Partner