Category: Coping & Healing

Anger & Bitterness: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison Since Divorcing?

Posted on 11/02/16 by delaine
anger bitterness towards women men

Written during Year Three post-divorce; 2011 Do you ever wonder if you’ve become “hardened” as a result of your divorce? By “hardened”, I don’t mean “stronger.”  I mean “encased in bitterness and distrust” towards the opposite sex. Cause it happened to me — and I didn’t even realize it.  In fact, to this very day, […]

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On Becoming A “Woman With A History”

Posted on 10/27/16 by delaine
wise divorced women

There’s a powerful feeling growing beneath my skin.  It’s been pushing through me and into my consciousness over the past year.  It speaks of love, sorrow, adventure, and intensity. It stems from having shared, loved, believed, lost, marrying, giving birth, trying again, trying harder, aching and celebrating. It speaks of gradual surrender and letting go, […]

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You May Not Get What You Want, But You Get What You Need

Posted on 10/20/16 by delaine
Patience, divorce, single mom

Over the past year since divorcing, most of my separated and divorced friends have found new partners and set up exciting, new lives for themselves.  And at times, I’ve felt frustrated: Why isn’t the same happening to me?  After all, I crawled and slashed my way out of Rock Bottom, relentlessly performed my internal housekeeping, and grew and stretched […]

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Why Does My Newly-Divorced Boyfriend Suddenly Want Space?

Posted on 10/20/16 by delaine
divorcing-man-help-sad-angry-trying-to-move-on

Hi Delaine, For the past eight months, I’ve been seriously dating a separated man while he wrapped up his divorce. His divorce became final maybe six weeks ago.  They were married for 15 years and he said it was bad marriage.  Ever since his divorce was finalized, I’ve felt like he’s been acting differently, a […]

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Two Years Post-Divorce: Am I Forsaking Love to “Prove” Something?

Posted on 10/16/16 by delaine
divorced woman, wonder, forsake love, independent, hurt

  From the archives of I am Divorced Not Dead.com : originally posted in 2009 “You’ve proven that you don’t need a man, Dee,” said my best friend Hali as she put down her wine glass on the restaurant table.  “What I want to know is when are you going to stop proving it?” I […]

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What I Admire & Appreciate About Men

Posted on 09/26/16 by delaine
men are different to women, divorce, sex and dating

I’ll admit that for a couple of years post-divorce, I wrote most of the male species off as knobs. Luckily,  the healing hands of time, combined with lots of inner work and formal  training in gender differences with Dr. John Gray, dulled my anger and allowed a renewed level of appreciation and respect to flourish. […]

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7 Alternatives to Divorce

Posted on 09/18/16 by delaine
alternatives-to-divorce

If your marriage is unhappy and unfulfilling, divorce is not the only option.  Numerous alternatives are at your disposal, which can help preserve your family in the long term.   How these alternatives are structured depends on how flexible you are as a couple are, as well as how great your desire is to be together. […]

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Dumped for Another Woman? Take Your Power Back

Posted on 09/18/16 by delaine
divorced-woman-scared-alone-no-money-delaine-moore

Being cheating on and dumped for another woman feels like being thrown into a deep black hole with no way out.   Even just the thought, “My husband left me for someone else” is a so deflating; crushing – it reeks of “you weren’t good enough.  He had to find better and she is.” But such […]

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“I Don’t Need A Man” – I’m Calling BS on This Catch Phrase Among Divorced Women

Posted on 01/28/16 by delaine
angry women, divorced, dating women, what's wrong with attitude, Delaine Moore, bestselling author, get over your anger hurt, coach, therapist

  (first published in 2012) Over the past three years since I got divorced, it is by far the most popular statement I’ve heard from women: “I don’t need a man”.  And it’s been said with passion.  Power.  Ownership.  As if it’s been earned. And I’ve heard it all over the place: from dinners with girlfriends…to […]

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Resentment Towards My Ex Flows Through My Body Like Lava

Posted on 10/21/15 by delaine
resent ex-husband, resentment divorce

From the archives of I Am Divorced Not Dead: Originally posted in 2019 At three and a half years into my divorce, I no longer feel like I’m mourning my marriage.  The grief, the fear, the heartache of betrayal  – they lie behind me now, serving as sources of strength and wisdom, not pain. But getting over my marriage […]

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Telling Your Ex-Husband (or Ex-Wife) You Have A New Partner

Posted on 10/15/15 by delaine
how to tell ex-husband about new partner, freak out, should I tell my ex-wife

In my work as a divorce coach, it saddens me how often separated or divorced parents refuse to tell each other when they have a serious new partner in their lives. Oftentimes, it’s not until their child says something, or a friend/family member speaks up, that the unknowing ex finds out.  That, or the new […]

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