Category: Dating

“I want a sensitive man.” No, You DON’T!

Posted on 12/25/16 by delaine
sensitive man, dating after divorce

“I want a sensitive man.”  It’s become a popular mating call by women these days, especially among women on the heels of a breakup or divorce.  Oftentimes their former partners were, as one divorcing woman put it, “as expressive as a piece of cement.”  Thus, the “sensitive man” —  a guy who’s in touch with […]

Read more

Are You Dating Another Version of Your Ex?

Posted on 10/28/16 by delaine
dating, attraction, like ex-wife, he's my ex-husband

Are you dating someone since divorcing who’s bringing you down?  Are you ignoring the warning signs that this person is  WAY too much work — kind of like your ex-husband/ex-wife was?  Has it ever crossed your mind that perhaps you’re so programmed to putting out relationship fires and compromising who you are and what you […]

Read more

Wallet Size: Does It Matter To You When You Date?

Posted on 10/26/16 by delaine
wallet, does size matter, gold digger, divorced women

I know the topic of this blog post is contentious and uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I’m fielding these questions anyway:  Does a man’s financial wealth or lack thereof influence your decision to date him or not? Or do you classify this as gold-digging, and find it shallow, offensive, and demeaning to the concept of true love? I decided to ask […]

Read more

Role Reversal: “Baby, This is Sex, Not Love”

Posted on 10/26/16 by delaine
I love you to early, divorced mom, when to say I love you

We enjoyed each other’s bodies for hours that night.  And the sex was as magnificent and fulfilling as it was the previous five times we’d lain together: intense, passionate, consuming and totally stress-busting! But afterwards, as I lay cuddled into his chest, eyes closed, brain floating off in Post-Orgasmic Wonderland,  I suddenly heard:  “I love you, […]

Read more

Remember: You Are NOT Your “Story”; Dating After Divorce

Posted on 10/25/16 by delaine
identity crisis divorce, dating, how to date after divorcing

My divorced girlfriend Marie was heading out on a date —  a fourth date, which was a super big deal to her. But as we spoke beforehand over the phone, she was practically in a tizzy: “I really do like this guy, Delaine. But the timing is completely horrid. My life is a a total mess and […]

Read more

Getting Naked For The First Time After Divorce

Posted on 10/24/16 by delaine
performance issues, first time naked, sex

After being with same person for many years, the idea of having sex with someone new can feel both exciting and downright terrifying — almost as much as losing your virginity!  But rest assured, your fears and jitters are normal and common.  Let’s climb on top of them right now. Fear: “But I’m older, saggier and […]

Read more

Are Child Predators Online Going After Single Moms?

Posted on 10/21/16 by delaine
online child predators, dangers divorce dating,

Archives: 2009 When I first started online dating after my divorce, it was my biggest fear: that a child predator would pretend to be interested in me so that he could go after my children.  And today, even though I’m way more comfortable with internet dating, AND, I’ve yet to introduced any man to my […]

Read more

You May Not Get What You Want, But You Get What You Need

Posted on 10/20/16 by delaine
Patience, divorce, single mom

Over the past year since divorcing, most of my separated and divorced friends have found new partners and set up exciting, new lives for themselves.  And at times, I’ve felt frustrated: Why isn’t the same happening to me?  After all, I crawled and slashed my way out of Rock Bottom, relentlessly performed my internal housekeeping, and grew and stretched […]

Read more

Why Does My Newly-Divorced Boyfriend Suddenly Want Space?

Posted on 10/20/16 by delaine
divorcing-man-help-sad-angry-trying-to-move-on

Hi Delaine, For the past eight months, I’ve been seriously dating a separated man while he wrapped up his divorce. His divorce became final maybe six weeks ago.  They were married for 15 years and he said it was bad marriage.  Ever since his divorce was finalized, I’ve felt like he’s been acting differently, a […]

Read more

Questions and Cautions Around Dominance & submission

Posted on 10/02/16 by delaine
real life dominance and submission, finding a Dominant

With the film Fifty Shades Darker slated to hit theatres this Valentine’s Day, I’m sure many women will be gung-ho to explore Dominance and submission (D/s). And this quite concerns me: for I know — as a memoirist whose D/s story was adapted into a film — that Hollywood takes poetic licence when telling a […]

Read more

Qualities to Look For in a REAL Dominant

Posted on 09/26/16 by delaine
Thinking businessman

Many women are actively seeking a Dominant in their private lives as a result of having read Fifty Shades of Grey or The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom.   But ladies, beware:  any man can sport black leather and  a flogger and call himself a Dom.  You need to know how to distinguish the […]

Read more