Category: Dating

Can Going Without Sex Become A “Bad Habit” After Divorce?

Posted on 11/16/16 by delaine
go without sex, when to have sex. early to have sex help divorce

I was standing beside a divorced soccer mom, watching our kids’ game, when she suddenly blurted: “Do you realize I haven’t had sex in over three years?” I turned to her, mouth open. “You’ve got to be joking.” She shook her head. “No… I’m afraid not.” “But how? Why? Look at you — you’re gorgeous…hot!  And […]

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How would you respond to, “I’m looking for a sugarbaby”?

Posted on 11/08/16 by delaine
sugarbaby, mistress, dull-time student, divorced mom

Imagine this: You’re in your late thirties, divorced, broke, and trying to singlehandedly raise your children while you go to school full-time. Suddenly, the most unexpected offer literally lands on your table — an “indecent proposal” by a wealthy stranger. Reserve judgment until you read the full article here on The Huffington Post.  

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Are You Dating Another Version of Your Ex?

Posted on 10/28/16 by delaine
dating, attraction, like ex-wife, he's my ex-husband

Are you dating someone since divorcing who’s bringing you down?  Are you ignoring the warning signs that this person is  WAY too much work — kind of like your ex-husband/ex-wife was?  Has it ever crossed your mind that perhaps you’re so programmed to putting out relationship fires and compromising who you are and what you […]

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Wallet Size: Does It Matter To You When You Date?

Posted on 10/26/16 by delaine
wallet, does size matter, gold digger, divorced women

I know the topic of this blog post is contentious and uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I’m fielding these questions anyway:  Does a man’s financial wealth or lack thereof influence your decision to date him or not? Or do you classify this as gold-digging, and find it shallow, offensive, and demeaning to the concept of true love? I decided to ask […]

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Role Reversal: “Baby, This is Sex, Not Love”

Posted on 10/26/16 by delaine
I love you to early, divorced mom, when to say I love you

We enjoyed each other’s bodies for hours that night.  And the sex was as magnificent and fulfilling as it was the previous five times we’d lain together: intense, passionate, consuming and totally stress-busting! But afterwards, as I lay cuddled into his chest, eyes closed, brain floating off in Post-Orgasmic Wonderland,  I suddenly heard:  “I love you, […]

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Remember: You Are NOT Your “Story”; Dating After Divorce

Posted on 10/25/16 by delaine
identity crisis divorce, dating, how to date after divorcing

My divorced girlfriend Marie was heading out on a date —  a fourth date, which was a super big deal to her. But as we spoke beforehand over the phone, she was practically in a tizzy: “I really do like this guy, Delaine. But the timing is completely horrid. My life is a a total mess and […]

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“I want a sensitive man.” No, You DON’T!

Posted on 10/25/16 by delaine
sensitive man, dating after divorce

“I want a sensitive man.”  It’s become a popular mating call by women these days, especially among women on the heels of a breakup or divorce.  Oftentimes their former partners were, as one divorcing woman put it, “as expressive as a piece of cement.”  Thus, the “sensitive man” —  a guy who’s in touch with […]

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Getting Naked For The First Time After Divorce

Posted on 10/24/16 by delaine
performance issues, first time naked, sex

After being with same person for many years, the idea of having sex with someone new can feel both exciting and downright terrifying — almost as much as losing your virginity!  But rest assured, your fears and jitters are normal and common.  Let’s climb on top of them right now. Fear: “But I’m older, saggier and […]

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Are Child Predators Online Going After Single Moms?

Posted on 10/21/16 by delaine
online child predators, dangers divorce dating,

Archives: 2009 When I first started online dating after my divorce, it was my biggest fear: that a child predator would pretend to be interested in me so that he could go after my children.  And today, even though I’m way more comfortable with internet dating, AND, I’ve yet to introduced any man to my […]

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You May Not Get What You Want, But You Get What You Need

Posted on 10/20/16 by delaine
Patience, divorce, single mom

Over the past year since divorcing, most of my separated and divorced friends have found new partners and set up exciting, new lives for themselves.  And at times, I’ve felt frustrated: Why isn’t the same happening to me?  After all, I crawled and slashed my way out of Rock Bottom, relentlessly performed my internal housekeeping, and grew and stretched […]

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Why Does My Newly-Divorced Boyfriend Suddenly Want Space?

Posted on 10/20/16 by delaine
divorcing-man-help-sad-angry-trying-to-move-on

Hi Delaine, For the past eight months, I’ve been seriously dating a separated man while he wrapped up his divorce. His divorce became final maybe six weeks ago.  They were married for 15 years and he said it was bad marriage.  Ever since his divorce was finalized, I’ve felt like he’s been acting differently, a […]

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Questions and Cautions Around Dominance & submission

Posted on 10/02/16 by delaine
real life dominance and submission, finding a Dominant

With the film Fifty Shades Darker slated to hit theatres this Valentine’s Day, I’m sure many women will be gung-ho to explore Dominance and submission (D/s). And this quite concerns me: for I know — as a memoirist whose D/s story was adapted into a film — that Hollywood takes poetic licence when telling a […]

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Qualities to Look For in a REAL Dominant

Posted on 09/26/16 by delaine
Thinking businessman

Many women are actively seeking a Dominant in their private lives as a result of having read Fifty Shades of Grey or The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom.   But ladies, beware:  any man can sport black leather and  a flogger and call himself a Dom.  You need to know how to distinguish the […]

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Screw Him! He Didn’t Want to Get Serious Because I Have Three Kids

Posted on 09/21/16 by delaine
dating after divorce, screw him, not good enough, didn't want to date because I have kids

From the archives of I Am Divorced Not Dead: Originally published in 2010 I broke up with a man a few days ago – a single father of two children.   He’s the first man I’ve gone out with since divorcing that I contemplated getting serious with whatsoever.  But even though we got along brilliantly, even though he […]

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Watch Out! Dating A Separated or Newly-Divorced Man

Posted on 09/20/16 by delaine
date separated man, advice, divorce relationships coach, help, watch out

  He says his marriage is long over.  He says he’s ready to date again.  But would it be wise for you – a woman who is ultimately seeking a serious relationship – to throw caution to the wind and dive right in? I’d definitely say, “No way.” Getting involved with a separated man usually […]

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I Was Snared By A Catfish: Beware The Warning Signs

Posted on 09/19/16 by delaine
catfish, scammers online, how to tell, is he real?, divorced women prey

A male friend of mine said the other day that he thinks people have to be “pretty stupid” to be snared by a catfish (in case you haven’t heard this term it means “an online phony”).  He said that the signs and warnings are obvious — so really, if someone gets duped, shame on him/her. […]

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Dating After Divorce: Ladies, Do You Need An Attitude Tune-Up?

Posted on 09/18/16 by delaine
sex, dating, attitude, tips, divorced women

Dating after divorce can be way more frustrating than it ever did back in our twenties.  Work, stress, kids, exes —  not only are you dealing with extra complications, your selection in good men seems dismally small.    Perhaps it’s time to fine-tune your expectations – and tune up your attitude. Update #1: Focus on being the […]

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Dating Games Women Play That Don’t Work

Posted on 09/17/16 by delaine
stupid games women play while dating

Some games women play while dating may seem wise and to be based on nuggets of truth — but at the core, they serve to justify deception instead of building authenticity and love; they’re similar yet worlds apart.  Let’s turn the games into good advice:   Game #1: Don’t return his calls and he’ll want […]

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Sleeping With A Man After Divorce

Posted on 09/04/16 by delaine
sleep with man after divorce

  From the archives: 2010 Since separating from my ex-husband two years ago, I haven’t slept with many men; in fact, less than a handful. Oh – let me clarify:  I mean actually sleeping with men. This has been the case for two reasons.  One, I haven’t wanted to sleep beside most of them.  And […]

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“I Don’t Need A Man” – I’m Calling BS on This Catch Phrase Among Divorced Women

Posted on 01/28/16 by delaine
angry women, divorced, dating women, what's wrong with attitude, Delaine Moore, bestselling author, get over your anger hurt, coach, therapist

  (first published in 2012) Over the past three years since I got divorced, it is by far the most popular statement I’ve heard from women: “I don’t need a man”.  And it’s been said with passion.  Power.  Ownership.  As if it’s been earned. And I’ve heard it all over the place: from dinners with girlfriends…to […]

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